I have several options for you.
1) Wanda B A Murderess
2) Me and Toni Soprano
3) I Ordered a Hit
4) Mouseketeer Fail
5) Blood on my Shoe
Why such joyous options? The mouse trap at work caught a cute little mouse. I thought it was a humane trap. I took the trap outside and opened it up with the intension to set it FREEEEEEE! Like Elsa the Lion. Low and behold, the poor little blitter is stuck fast from the tip of its itty bitty tail to the end of its sweet little snout. I tried to pry it off the sticky paper but it wasn’t going anywhere. I decided I was definitely not helping it. Possibly, it was getting it more stuck. And surely I was hurting it. So I took the strip with the mouse attached to the garbage, apologizing all the way, and gently placed it in the trash. I put it in face down so I wouldn’t see it when I left the building for the day.
Two steps towards the door and I suffered great pangs of guilt. It was still struggling on that sticky strip. It is freezing outside. That’s when I did it. Ohhh, I couldn’t do it myself. I went back into the building and found the first male co-worker. (Note the reverse sexism-men are all heartless beasts and can kill without batting an eye-right?) I shared my dilemma at which point he told me how that happened at home and his GRANDCHILD had the same reaction as I did. I took my hitman out to the garbage can and told him he had to wait until I was back in the building.
The unnerving thing was, he was back in the building 30 seconds behind me and trotted back to work like nothing happened. I was propped up against the wall with tears streaming down my face.
I had to go home and hug something that reminded me that even Toni Soprano had a nice side.